The past month, finally (nearly) finished with the painting that needs to happen in my home (yes, there will be a before and after post), I have been able to muster the energy to get out and run before work. (Less late nights with a paintbrush in hand). My-oh-my the glory of moving.
And not a moment too soon!
There is only about a week and a half of running days left until the Peterson Ridge Rumble, and three of my friends and I will be tackling the 20 mile distance. After running 19 miles on Sunday, I have no doubt we will all finish. It is likely to be a gorgeous race day.
I have been putting so much effort into my home (yes – an apartment) that I have been neglecting not only my daily moving meditation (running), but also my written outlet – as well as providing fabulous city pictures to all of you (I am not trying to bribe you into moving to Portland, but seriously. It’s pretty great here).
Here are a few from my most recent running adventures:
I am looking forward to adding a couple of races between now and Fall. I think I will sign up for the Portland Marathon this year for the first time, so October is filled.
Any suggestions for Spring and Summer NW area races that you have loved within a few hour’s drive of the Portland Metro area?
Have you ever found yourself avoiding the activities you once loved?
Have you been in a place of constant learning and pursuing eight different newpassions all at once?
And when you finally achieve your 200 RYT yoga certification, become a Reiki Practitioner, and finish your contracted time working with a business coach to set up your Reiki & Coaching practice – You find you’re ready to launch (once you have your logo), have copy and marketing packages planned (yet your website doesn’t exist), business license acquired and bank accounts are set up, and you’re talking with all of your friends and family about starting this business you love – and yet…
You can’t get yourself to start.
Oh, no wait, this is no random example – this is about me.Yes, this is the story of the last seven months of my life. I found myself shoulder-deep, hands tied to my sides, unable to move forward with this business I thought I wanted – no, needed– to start.
I wasexhausted, frustrated, and tired of putting all of my time and effort into this thing that was not exciting to me.
Don’t get me wrong – I love yoga. And I think Reiki is amazing, and I am so grateful to have learned how to properly use this gift I was born with of healing with my hands, yet… something was missing.
So one day, shortly after moving in to my (new) apartment, I was trying to set it up in such a way that would allow me to accommodate clients with comfortable seating and a place to set up the Reiki table, when a random thought crossed my mind, and caught me totally off-guard:
What I really want is a space where I can sit comfortably and eat a meal. What would that look like?
Which lead me to start thinking some more about why I was setting up my space for other people… And then: what would it feel like to let go of starting my Reiki business? I was well aware that I had been self-sabotaging any real chance of getting it off the ground (by not doing anything to move forward with getting clients), and as soon as I allowed myself to explore the idea, I felt my shoulders relax away from my ears, weight leaving my mind as it became less frantic and the whirling slowed. I could breathe again. In that moment, I decided:
I will allow myself the freedom to choose to let go of starting this business.
It took seven months, a few large investments, and a very deep breath to finally realize: If I was being honest with myself: I did not want to start this practice. I felt like I was pretending to be someone I am not, slipping into a skin that was not mine, and putting on a happy face to show that I really wanted to move in the direction of having a Reiki practice. And in letting go, I was finally free to actually be Me.
Slowly, in the places where I felt drained of all energy before, I now feel a sense of creativity coming back into my life. When I moved in January, I was informed tenants can paint their apartment, and I have completely indulged in painting – walls, trim, ALL rooms (before and after soon to come!). It has turned into a huge (really ginormous – going on three weeks here, folks) task, yet it is making me incredibly happy. I have never felt more at home.
The past few weeks, settling in to this new place (mind freedom and space freedom), I have finally been able to get back into running – and the joy that comes with the expending energy moving solely by my own feet through the air and around this fair city reminds me how much I need to make time for this self-care.
Somehow, I manage to surprise myself again – Letting go of the routine of the run, after recognizing its importance in my life, and in returning re-remembering how much this daily ritual of moving meditation brings a lightness to my work, and keeps a smile on my face.
I am a better person when I care for myself. (Isn’t that what we are taught?) When on an airplane, you are instructed to put the mask over your own face, and then take care of others near to you. Why is it so hard to commit to self-care, when even our society is letting us know that it is vitally important?
Today, I am re-committing (after re-remembering) to myself and my word of intention for the year: “Health”. Food, exercise, and rest. To be the best me, so I can be a better person for all my friends, family, coworkers (and myself!) to be around.
I would love for you to share your realization and commitment story:
Is there something that you have devoted yourself to that is draining your energy? What can you choose to do right now to relieve stress and feel more in alignment with your own intentions?
On that note (of self-care), I am off to bed!
May health and happiness be with you all – Goodnight!
Two weeks ago, I decided to commit to get back into the habit and lifestyle of being a Runner again. I found a marathon training program and another for a 50k, which I intend to work through, back-to-back. And you know, as an experienced runner, you know you’re supposedto ease back into running if your mileage is not up where you “need it to be” for your training.
… So of course (as an experienced runner) I decided to jump right in. Head first. I ran seven miles to work with a friend Thursday for the first time ever (pretty cool to get to run to work), and went out yesterday for my first 10 mile run since … Well, honestly, sometime last September.
Now here I am, beginning Week 5 of 18 in Marathon training (I skipped the first two weeks because I’m already a runner, after all), making an all-natural and organic home-remedy from Simple Green Smoothies of lemon, ginger and honey, hoping with all hopes that this will kick the sore throat I am beginning to develop before it becomes a full-blown-sickness-thing.
I am overdoing it, and it is showing up in my body.
The classic conundrum now begs my attention: how do I make the choice to slow down, scale-back, and let my body heal when I have goals to meet?
I am registered for the 20 mile race at the Peterson Ridge Rumble happening April 12th. I’m excited, nervous, and thrilled to have a goal distance to train toward. And now I’m afraid I’ll fall behind. Because I started behind.
The past two weeks have been … stressful, to put it lightly. I moved two weeks ago, I’m looking for opportunities to move forward in my career, and I am feeling my way through a transition in perspective in life, and finally learning what is really important to me.
And believe me, it has been one heck of a long haul.
I find myself experiencing moments of jealousy. People that I work with that are really happy doing what they love: how did they find their path so quickly? The entrepreneur friend who has opened a coffee shop, or a boutique, or is a designer creating art and making a living: these people are my heroes, and it is incredibly inspiring to see them succeed at business they passionately worked toward.
How did they manage to do these fantastic things so early in life?
And why do I feel so behind in the game?
I have always been successful at what I put my mind to, and I am immensely grateful for this ability. In college it was easy because you had to choose one thing to study and get your degree. And I’ll admit, after graduation and landing a “real job” I didn’t feel the need to pursue anything in particular besides enjoying life in that moment. Now I find myself unable to find my focus; to choose one thing to put my energy toward and tackle. Except…
I know I want to run. And race.
And putting my mind and body out there in the elements, asking it to perform like it did last summer post Newport Marathon, pre-Siskiyou Outback, without a proper gradual increase is causing a mild rebellion. So, despite my brain yelling at me to get out and run, I am going to sleep in tomorrow, have an easy morning, and head to the office. Drink tea instead of coffee, and eat wholesome foods to nourish my body and soul back to health.
Sometimes it is hard to listen to that little voice in your head, urging you to do what is best for you.
Right now, I choose to listen to the murmurs, and hope to all grace and goodness that soon I’ll get the message that all is well and I’m free to run circles around my currently un-trained running self. With any luck, whispered tidbits of wisdom will float through my mind and begin guiding me, providing a sense of focus for my soul to settle and commit to a purposeful pursuit.
Letting go of the anxiety of not knowing and using the logical brain to think everything through, and beginning to allow the guidance of feeling to take over is my new objective.
I would love to hear from you, your thoughts and what is working for you on your journey through life:
How do you feel your way through life?
How do you know when you are being guided?
When did you discover your greatest desire and passion?
Thanks so much for taking the time to ponder possibilities, share successes, and contribute to this magnificent conversation about life and the pursuit of passion.
Tonight is my last night in this beautiful building, and as I look out the window and my glorious city view through the pouring rain… I realize, I have no attachment to this place as my home. I never did develop a sense of solidity here.
Its funny. The more I learn through the teachings of yoga, we are taught to move toward non-attachment in many aspects of our lives, and I find myself being more able to separate from having a hope or desire for outcomes to be a certain way, yet … I almost feel that it is a very odd thing to not be somehow … perhaps, emotionally? … connected to the place where you rest your head at night. To where you sleep, eat, keep prized possessions, and find sanctuary from the world outside.
Something in me never … bonded with this home. This apartment truly is beautiful. And it has this lovely, fantastically cozy bench in the kitchen with a radiator under it, so it is (almost) always warm. And the view. (Have I mentioned the view?) I mean, really. This is kind of unreal:
And so cozy.
I will miss the vintage golden-yellow of the building that while standing in my kitchen made it almost possible for me to imagine I was standing in Italy… Almost. (I think it’s time stop almost imagining, and take a real trip to Italy).
I am excited about my new home. I somehow feel grounded in that space. I wanted it two years ago when I first discovered this building, and now I have achieved my home in this wonderful place, where I hope to find some peace and contentment.
with joy and happiness in being where we are…
As I sit here in the nook of my kitchen, on the radiator warmed bench at eight o’clock in the evening on Thursday night, I know I should be packing. My intention for the evening was to make at least one trip over to my new apartment (yes, to those of you who know me, I am moving again) to transport some of the little things that I can fit in my pint-size vehicle. But when I got home from work, my stomach growling – reminding me I need to eat, I got out the leftover soup which is basically the last bit of food left in my refrigerator, and set it to warm on the stove. Immediately, the desire to bake biscuits to go with my dinner hit me. I found a recipe to reference, throwing together a mish-mash of different gluten-free flours to make this last-minute addition come to fruition.
This week at work has been a little overwhelming, and trying to spend my evenings working to move my home… It really brings up the urge to bake! I get so much joy out of creating food, and somehow it is incredibly relaxing, so I tend to give in when inspired (last night I made cookies).
Now having eaten my delicious, purple soup (this is what happens when you throw all the vegetables in your fridge into a pot with some water and rice, and one of the veggies is a purple cabbage), and indulging in three gluten-free biscuits with lavender pear fig jam, I listen to the falling Splat! of the rain draining off the roof of my building, and the desire to go anywhere has vanished.
I really am looking forward to this new place; somehow I feel like this is some kind of “reset” button on my life, and I am excited to see what kind of changes come out of this new home.
I will, however, miss this view:
I guess I’ll have to go running uphill in the morning to find my own view!Like this one: (unfortunately for me, the lot overlooking this section of Portland is now for sale – fortunately for the future home owner, there is an incredible city-scape laid out before the lot)
So tonight, at 8:38pm, warm, fed, and pretty tired, although deterred by the rain, I will make my trek. One small trip, if only because I promised myself that I would, and I know it will provide me a small sense of accomplishment (and avoid all those upset-at-self feelings).
How do you stay motivated when the rain has you down?
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, and welcome you to leave a comment below.
P.S. As I wrote that last line committing to venture out in the wet, it started pouring. …Where are my boots…?
I know this is a controversial and very heavy topic for many – and I don’t want to lecture anyone on what is right and wrong as far as food choices are concerned. What I do wish for everyone is that you are informed about what goes into the products you eat and I am thrilled that processed foods are finally getting more scrutiny from health food advocates, whole food advocates, and even News anchors.
I follow a blog called Food Babe, by Vani Hari – you know her as the girl who got Subway to take the yoga mat chemical Azodicarbonamide out of their breads (it was not used in Subway’s bread in EU or other countries as it is banned there). Vani is actively investigating our daily foods and corporations from Gateorade to Whole Foods to Starbucks to Kraft to Chipotle, and more. Today in her post she brings us back to a Special Report on ABC News by anchor Peter Jennings on December 8, 2003 called How To Get Fat Without Really Trying. I have to admit, I was surprised this video was produced over ten years ago,and yet so many Americans still are unaware of what they are actually eating – and why our nation’s people are becoming increasingly overweight. I highly recommend you watch these videos.
Also, take some time to check out this video from Marie Forleo on Marie TV: an interview with Vani (this is how I came across this lovely lady) where she shares great advice on foods you may not suspect you need to avoid: Healthy or Not: 5 Health Foods You Shouldn’t Eat. Some of the items shared caught me completely off guard! This video is well worth a listen to know what you are actually putting into your body.
Here is a secret I need to share with you: I spend a significant amount of my “free time” watching and listening to Marie’s interviews to learn … New things. About everything!
Marie Forleo is a wonderful business guru and advocate to help (us all!) Create a Business and Life You Love. Her interviews are always informative and inspiring, and to any of you looking for advising on your “next steps” – take some time to explore what she has to offer. Find videos on business and personal growth, how to be more productive, and even spiritual stuff to help improve your life. Marie’s authentic approach makes every bit of her imparted wisdom (in writing and video) easily understandable and entertaining, and I.just.love.it! Marie has also founded B-SCHOOL, an online 8-week training program for online business owners and entrepreneurs, which has received wonderful acclaim.
I am so happy to have stumbled upon both of these awesome women who are consciously working to make a positive difference in the world, and in our lives. Their influence and impact on me has already changed my life, and they inspire me to make greater change Every.Day.
Who are your favorite online gurus?
Please share your thoughts on the ABC News special below; I am always interested in a lively conversation about how we can live – and be – healthier.
After a long break from running and exercise – any serious movement – after being sick for a whole week, I was thrilled to have a cool, clear, crisp morning to get outside and Run! With this new year, I am starting at square one, so I went out for a two-mile run. Short and sweet, and absolutely stunning!
It was such a beautiful morning. I couldn’t have asked this fair city for better sunshine, temperature, or reflections.
I am so happy to be running again!
Tomorrow commences Saturday runs with my running buddies. It has been far too long since I spent the mornings chatting and laughing and pounding out the miles with those lovely ladies. I look forward to another beautiful run, and a few more miles, tomorrow.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, enjoying your exercise of choice!
2014 has been a year of discoveries. Much of what I have learned has been due to self-exploration, understanding, and acceptance. Pushing my body to new limits, learning how food affects my mind and spirit, and learning what really matters to me for the first time in over thirty years.
And this has changed my life.
Permanent change, and change for the better. Here are a few of the important lessons of 2014:
1. My body can travel great distances on foot. I ran a 50K this year. Holy crap! Not only that, but leading up to race day my body was able to keep moving through 3 marathon-length training runs with a 10 mile run the very next day. I always knew I could do it, yet looking back on this feat feels really kind of awesome. Makes a girl wonder what else she can do…
2. I am a runner who likes to do yoga. After completing Yoga Teacher Training – and feeling stronger than I have felt in many years – I can honestly say I have no desire to teach yoga classes. I really enjoyed the personal journey the experience of 200 YTT took me on, the new friends I was able to meet, and the new limits I was able to push past while learning the Ashtangas, and the broader and more considerate perspective I gained on life, how we treat one another, and my personal actions and their affect our planet. It was totally worth the work, lack of social activity, and even the horrendous anxiety that I experienced that kept me from sleeping before each early morning class I taught. The lessons I learned from Yoga beyond the moments, are immeasurable and invaluable, and therefore, this experience was highly important in helping me to change.
3. I may, in fact, be a good teacher. Despite the fact that I am not interested in teaching Yoga, I love sharing what I know and teaching others about diet, exercise, and healthy habits. These are things I love to work on in my own life, and cannot stop talking about when asked – and I look forward to the opportunity to share my knowledge with others who are seeking ways to improve themselves. Somehow, over the past year, people have started coming to me with questions. I suppose this is how it all begins…
4. I LOVE running. When I committed to yoga training, I knew I would have to cut back on running, and for the first week (maybe the first two), I made myself run three times during the week. While attending four yoga classes, and eleven hours of teacher training AND working a full-time 40+ hours/week day-job. And there was no way I could keep running in my habitual manner. So I let go of running. For more than three months. I missed it terribly. Running is my meditation, my break from life, stress release, and a way to tour this beautiful city I get to live in, and I am SO happy to have the time in my day to re-incorporate running in my daily life. Thank God!
5. Cooking delicious, healthy meals for myself is SUPER important. I have always loved to bake. And when I started cooking, I realized it was another form of meditation, to take good food and make a delicious meal for myself. It is like this gift at the end of a long day to have the ability to spend time in the kitchen, singing, and dancing around while chopping onions and garlic. (Don’t worry – I put the knife down while I was dancing!) Over the last five months or so, I realized not only is this a pleasant activity, it is vitally important to me to take the time and make meals happen. I actually find I feel guilty when I buy my lunch in the café at work. Cooking and Food Prep = Must Do (As much as possible) for sanity, to feel good, and to calm my mind.
6. I can make changes to how I live to become the person I want to be. My mother can tell you that in the past I was a very disorganized person. With piles. I have always had piles. Clothes in the corner. Papers heaped on the desk. I am now eliminating the piles. Organization is a new skill, and I am working to cultivate and keep this one going for years to come. Shrinking stacks not only means donating unused or unloved items to charity, it also means finishing projects. That dress I started five years ago, the painting started four years ago, the receipts I need to file, the blanket I intend to make for my niece for Christmas… (Do you have any of these things on your list that have been there, moving down in priority slowly over time?)I am now checking them off (starting with the painting), and letting go of those that no longer call to me. Freeing the mind and getting rid of clutter – I have much more important things to ponder over in that mind space, and worry and that nagging knowing that “I need to finish that project, and that, and that…” can stop. Now.
7. It is ok to say “No”. I will admit that for a lot of my life, honestly almost all of my life up to this past Spring, I have been a people-pleaser. Always saying “yes” to every invite, all obligations involving friends, and putting myself second. Or third. Or fourth. Finally, 32 years (nearing 33) into my life, I have learned that I can consider my own needs and wants when making decisions. And most of the time, I will feel better, other parties involved will not be concerned about my “no”, and the energy of the whole deal will just feel so much more clean. Honesty – To self and others, it’s totally the way to go.
8. Self-care is extremely, vitally important. I have been experimenting. With diet. With exercise. Learning what works. (And learning what does NOT work). And beyond learning that my body and sugar do not get along in any way, shape, or form, I have learned that it is incredibly difficult to maintain my own happiness if I do not prioritize myself Every.Single.Day. Feeding myself, drinking lots of water, getting in some form of exercise, and spending some time in meditation or reading – somehow furthering the strength of my mind – are essential activities that help me to live well. In turn, taking care of myself allows me to be available to others when they are in need. It is incredibly simple, yet so hard to maintain. This is why so many teachers and gurus have their own Daily Practice. Do you have a daily practice? Has it become habit, or is it still a challenge from time to time to keep the routine?
9. I still do not know what I want to do when I grow up, but I know I’m getting closer. Since landing in Portland after college, I have kept myself occupied taking lessons. In retrospect, I have sought out one Guru after the next – first in dance lessons, then voice, then energy healing, and finally in yoga training. Oddly enough, two of my Gurus have moved away in the last year, rather suddenly, and I certainly wanted to learn more from them … Yet, I feel almost as if this is the way things are supposed to be. Kind of a little shove for me to start moving forward on my own. Like the Universe is telling me “You’ve learned enough – now go do what you are meant to do.” Being in this place – nudged to go out and do ‘my thing’ – is a little awkward, uncomfortable, and scary, but I’m learning to push through the discomfort and really share my perspective, knowledge, and who I am with others.
10. Running has taught me to stop worrying and take a chance. I suppose it goes without saying that running any extraordinary distance of your own volition will teach a person something about themselves. I have certainly learned that I am much more able-bodied than I have ever imagined. And through the physical tests endured, I have learned that so much of what I used to fret about and stress over really is the small stuff. I’m not sure how I leaned that running, but when you are in a state of constant movement and all that really matters is nutrition, hydration, and putting one foot in front of the other, prioritizing is much more simple.
11. When you respect yourself, you make better decisions. Last year, I went to an end of 2013/beginning of 2014 ceremony. During this process together, we chose words for what we are letting go of in 2014, and what word we are claiming for the year to work on and hold as our intention for the year. Honestly at this point I do not remember what word I let go of, but I chose “Self-Respect” as my intention for 2014 – and I have done pretty well on that account for the year. It’s funny, you’d think that self-respect is pretty basic, and that everyone has that for themselves. For me, the process of learning to say “No” was a form of self-respect, and while I have made a few choices that went a little beyond what I really wanted, I have not done regrettable things this year. Every choice was thought out, weighed, and carefully responded to from a place where I felt no nagging or pulling in my heart or gut. Much more happiness this year.
Now here we are at the beginning of 2015 – a fresh start to choose to let go of something else, and a new word of intention for this brand new year.
For 2015, I choose Health for my word of intention. I have been making small changes here and there throughout the past few years, and with the lessons I have learned in 2014, there are bigger changes I want to make (which I look forward to sharing with you soon!) that will have a big impact on my life – happier digestion, better energy levels, and overall feeling good in my own skin.
I will be letting go of material things – for the last 3 months of 2014, I made a promise to myself to not make any purchases that were not necessary. And not shopping gave me so much more free time (not to mention saving me $$$ so I could spend on more important things, like Organic Kale), I intend to do the same for the entire year of 2015. No unnecessary purchases of clothing or home items – and thrifting, consignment, and getting creative (literally – making things) will be where I do get things when I need them. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle – three of my favorite words. 2015 will be a fantastic year!
What is your ‘word of intention’ for 2015?
What will you let go of this year to give yourself more freedom and happiness?
I’d love to support you on your new endeavors – Let me know in the comments below!
As always, move forward through each new day with Joy!
As I sit alone at home this holiday eve, allowing myself one more day of rest after the illness that knocked me off my feet and kept me flat in bed for five days, I find myself contemplating what is important this day, and only one answer comes to the fore-front of my mind.
Family. As I have always known and accepted, family is the biggest importance to me and always has been, but somehow over the years, the need to be with family has grown. As has my strength in myself when I can not be with them (as tonight – one more day away to make sure the virus is passed and will not be passed on to loved ones).
This definition of family has evolved to include the many very good friends who have grown to mean so much to me throughout the years, whom I will not see this year as they are with their families. These people who have made a great difference in my life, had an enormous affect on my life choices, and help me make sense of the direction I am headed, advising me, and encouraging me when I falter.
As over the years, my family has grown, I have found myself not even participating in gifting. I know so many people who mean so much to me – each of them deserves a gift, yet the thought of trying to find something each person will like that is not just a gift to give something ultimately overwhelms me and I let go of the idea all together. I want a gift to have meaning and be useful not just… collect dust until it is tossed in the new year. Additionally, I often choose to avoid participation in the big commercial hubbub of the holiday. So I resolve to make gifts… unfortunately, often too late to finish in time. (Do you ever find yourself in this situation?)
Alas, here I am on the eve of Christmas, grateful to be finally feeling well enough to get to spend time with family on the holiday. Tomorrow I will bake my offering of cookies for the dessert after the family dinner. My gift to the family with whom I get to share this holiday. Made from the heart, with love, for each and every one of them holds a place in my heart forever. As do those with whom I am separated by land, ocean, or circumstances this season.
And so, here I leave a note to all of my dear, precious – new and old – family and friends: Please know that each one of you is elementally irreplaceable in my life. Without you, my life would be so different: your presence makes is so much more happy, more interesting, more fun, and fulfilling. You are the best present I will ever receive in this life. Thank you for choosing to be in mine.
Many wishes of great fun with family and friends this Holiday Season.
Last Thursday, I completed my Yoga Teacher Training by teaching a 60 minute yoga class. We stretched, stood strong, balanced, and I led the class back to the floor for our final resting pose; after dimming the lights and allowing time for some silence, I sang to the room of resting yogis. My relief for completing the training, delight at how well this class went (despite my sleepless night, music hiccups, and nervousness), and gratitude for all the great teachers, classmates, and wonderful people I met on this journey brought so much emotion, that tears fell from my eyes as I bowed my head with the word “Namaste”.
A week and a half later, I am still unsure if I will use this knowledge to teach full classes at a studio or gym. I am now a certified yoga instructor, yet the debate swirls in my mind; knowing that my intention for this journey was to find some personal growth – and I certainly have – I find I have learned so much, acquiring a new sense of appreciation for all things Yoga, and feel a sense of need or responsibility to somehow share this new-found knowledge.
My body has not felt this strong in many years. And I can release stress with so much ease; a simple inhale through the nose and exhale open mouth does the trick. (This is not necessarily recommended at one’s corporate job while in a meeting because you may draw unwanted attention to yourself, but is entirely acceptable at one’s desk).
I find myself at a kind of impasse. The road forward is more clear now, and I know many of the steps I need to take to get where I need to be (more details to come soon), yet I know that there are a few personal tasks I must accomplish before I can ever be successful starting these new adventures.
For many years, I have had the desire to have a morning practice. When training for running races, especially the 50k, I felt pretty good about getting outside to run before work as my practice, but it was only 4-5 times per week. This desire to take time for myself to exercise, focus, and be present to start the day has morphed into a need through this yoga journey, and yet I am still avoiding just beginning. I think that I fear the changes that will come when I allow myself to truly be present – to get comfortable in my own skin, in my home, in my mind, right NOW – because (more!) changes will be needed.
Despite this angst, change is not something I fear, and this change, adding a daily practice (spiritual and physical), does not take a great deal of time nor does it change who I am. So I wonder now: why do I fear taking one step closer to who I really am and what my heart desires?
Perhaps I am simply afraid to learn what I have been missing for the past thirty-two years. No … I do not believe that is not the reason. I am afraid that starting these practices will draw my attention inward. Away from friends, family, and a life outside myself because I have so much to explore.
I recognize that much of my 32 years on Earth has been spent doing what was expected of me. Doing what I could to fit in as best as I could. Making myself available to please friends. And finally, what I need to do is discover myself, find out what makes me tick, what feels right as my place in this world. And it is a little scary taking those steps toward understanding.
So here on this page, I make a promise to myself, and state it out loud to you all to help hold myself accountable. December 1st, 2014, I am beginning a Daily Practice. I will start with 20 min of asana practice, 5 minutes of Pranayama ( Ujjayi breath), and starting small, explore 5 minutes of meditation – unfamiliar territory – and study how these practices affect me. My intention is also to add running back into my life (oh, how I have missed this view of the city!), which is a little frustrating because I know I must begin slowly after taking a couple of months away from pounding the pavement (the 6 miles I ran yesterday has left my legs quite sore). I am interested to see what this new practice reveals to me, and how it might affect my mood and the unfolding of each day.
Tell me: Do you have a daily practice? How does your practice serve you in your day?
As always, I encourage you to find joy in all that you do.